Bitter Sweet MAY

Hello there readers! I an back for a little heart to heart, a little pouring of the soul.

I TURNED 27 YESTERDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! 

Yesterday was a pretty normal day. Took my last final of the semester the day before. Yesterday, was the first day of freedom before classes start again in June. I sat around home vegging around and watching TV. Being the typical couch potato, I sat in front of my comcast box catching up on all the terrible reality television i've missed over the last couple of crazy weeks of FINALS! @.@ Anyway, as the day progressed I found myself getting extremely bored and i headed off to the mall. The mall is always a great spot for me when i need to just gather myself. Its where i feel right, happy and safe. Surrounded by all the fashion, smiling faces, price tags, shiny accessories, etc... :D My serenity. 

Anyway, on to birthday festivities. I celebrated my 27th birthday quietly. Of course, if I really could have it my way I would have a million people at my birthday party if i could manage. However, my husband is not the type to throw a party for me or call all my friends together.Thus, I spent my Birthday in the company of my husband. We had a great sushi dinner. I stuffed my self soo hard that i had to undo my belt! Thats right! You read correctly. I had to UNDO MY BELT! hahaha It was a great birthday dinner and i really enjoyed my husbands company.

Later that evening, my classmate Joel had been planning his Going Away/ Graduation Party since 2 weeks ago at a Karaoke Bar. My husband was a little hesitant at first but luckily I was able to convince him to go. When we first got there, the PLACE was PACKKKEEEDD to the max. You could hardly move around, people dancing, drinking, singing and having a great time. I couldn't find Joel for at least 20 mins and was about to leave. I then looked again around the room and it was as if he materialized in front of me. Joel is an amazing soul. We butted heads in class because we both had really strong personalities, but we always laughed it off and have a blast immediately after. ^^ We danced, we laughed, we sang and then i suddenly realized that i was soo happy and so sad at the same time. So happy for Joel for celebrating his graduation, so happy that i had my husband, brother and friends by my side, so happy for all the friends that i have met this year, and so happy for all the accomplishments we have made. But, why was I then so sad?! I woke up this morning with a pit in my stomach as I go on to Facebook to wish all my Graduating friends and amazing day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aT2_zVYVoi0

Here it is. The reason why i was soo sad this morning. I was practically in tears. I was suppose to be graduating with them today. Today was my day too! I sit here in tears because I am suppose to be standing a long side all the classmates that i have met in the last 2 years of college and throwing our crappy caps in the air. Why am I not there?! Why must I wait till after fall semester before I can receive graduation papers? Why must i wait till next spring of 2012 to walk among my peers?! Not only that, with peers that i did not take my graduating courses with. To be honest, 2-3 months ago, i was embarrassed about walking in the graduation ceremony. I was embarrassed that I was going to be 27 year old when I graduated. But now, while all my peers are graduating, I find myself torn to pieces because I now realize how grand this day really is. Its not just about graduating. Its about graduating with your peers! Peers that knew of your work, and your accomplishments throughout college. Its about watching your peers, and rooting them on for the work they have accomplished! Its about saying your good byes as you move on in a new direction of your life. Its about being PROUD of the hurdles you have had to deal with in this journey along side people that know and can acknowledge that you were alive. Today is a special day that i am missing, and I couldn't be happier for my classmates, and sadder for myself.  As i sit here with tears clouding my eyes, with pain in my heart, I know that when I do graduate in the fall I will go all OUT! Parties, Invitations, Spring Graduating Class of 2012 here I come.

I will be the first official person from my University to take the Open University Program all the way through to graduation. I will also be the first person to graduate before being officially admitted through the University program. I have been recognized by the Director of Business Administrations, as well as most of the business division for the accomplishments i have made to get it through this far. Now, even though my classes end this summer at my University (which means i have technically graduated), I will have to wait an additional year to receive my diploma due to technicalities. Its ok. This is just another hurdle. By this time next year readers, you will see me post graduation pictures! This i promise you and to myself.

To my "Actual" Business Graduating Class of Spring 2011! I am soo proud of all your accomplishments! So proud to have had the opportunity to take the many classes I have with you all. You guys/ gals have been soo amazing. I hope you all a world of success! CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'VE MADE IT!!